Psychological Roots of Conflict: Sibling Rivalries to Wars

Guy over looks a war torn town, evaluating the psychological roots of conflict

Conflict is an inherent part of human experience, manifesting in various forms from childhood sibling rivalries to complex international wars. While the surface reasons for these conflicts may seem diverse, they often share fundamental psychological roots of conflict, grounded in the existential experience of Being and the projection of unresolved unconscious issues. This article explores how these deep-seated psychological mechanisms operate at different levels, highlighting the necessity for self-awareness and integration of the shadow for true resolution.

Sibling Conflicts: The Foundation

Sibling conflicts are often the earliest manifestations of the psychological roots of conflict. These seemingly simple disputes over toys, attention, and personal space are actually rooted in profound psychological dynamics.

  1. Possessions and Sharing: Fights over toys and belongings reflect deeper insecurities and the need for validation. Children may project their sense of inadequacy onto their siblings, competing for limited resources as a way to assert their worth.
  2. Attention and Affection: Sibling rivalry for parental attention mirrors an unresolved need for recognition and affection. This competition stems from a fear of not being loved or valued enough, leading to conflicts that are projections of these deeper insecurities.
  3. Personal Space: Arguments over personal space can stem from an early sense of violated boundaries. Siblings project their need for autonomy and control onto each other, resulting in disputes that reflect their struggle for self-definition.

Adult Conflicts: Complexity and Projection

As individuals grow, the nature of their conflicts evolves, but the underlying psychological mechanisms remain similar. Adult disputes over finances, work, and relationships often reflect unresolved childhood issues projected onto current situations.

  1. Money and Finances: Financial disagreements often stem from deeper fears of scarcity and inadequacy. Adults project their insecurities about self-worth and success onto their partners, leading to conflicts over financial control and management.
  2. Work and Career: Conflicts related to work are frequently rooted in personal ambitions and fears of failure. Adults project unresolved issues of competence and recognition onto their workplace dynamics, resulting in power struggles and stress.
  3. Household Responsibilities: Disputes over chores and responsibilities reflect deeper feelings of being undervalued or overwhelmed. Adults project these unresolved emotions onto their partners, leading to conflicts over the division of labor and household management.

International Conflicts: Macro-Level Projections

On a global scale, the projection of unresolved unconscious issues becomes even more evident. Nations, like individuals, project their historical traumas, fears, and ambitions onto other countries, leading to wars and international disputes.

  1. Possessions and Resources: Wars over natural resources and territory are projections of deeper existential fears of scarcity and survival. Nations compete for resources as a way to assert their dominance and ensure their continued existence.
  2. Attention and Recognition: Global conflicts for recognition and influence reflect a nation’s need for validation and power. These struggles are projections of national identity and historical grievances onto the international stage.
  3. Territorial Disputes: Border conflicts are often rooted in issues of national identity and sovereignty. Nations project their unresolved issues of control and historical boundaries onto territorial claims, leading to prolonged conflicts.

Core Psychological Mechanism: Projection and the Shadow

At the heart of these conflicts lies the psychological roots of conflict, particularly the mechanism of projection, where individuals and collectives project their unresolved unconscious issues onto others. This externalization serves to maintain the ego’s sense of self by avoiding the integration of shadow aspects.

  • Ego and Identity: The ego sustains its identity by creating external enemies and problems, allowing it to avoid facing its own unconscious shadows.
  • Shadow Integration: Resolving conflicts requires individuals and nations to take responsibility for their own unconscious issues. This involves integrating the shadow, acknowledging suppressed emotions, and addressing unresolved traumas.

The Role of Conscious Exploration

It remains pertinent that as adults, we consciously explore the depths of our own shadows, defense mechanisms, and fundamental beliefs before we fly into self-righteous behavior. This self-righteousness is often a mechanism used to maintain the suppression of parts of ourselves reflected in the activities of others. The reasons we are triggered lie in the awareness of an unconscious aspect of ourselves that is coming into awareness through its reflection in our blind spot. Relationships—whether with lovers, family, friends, or perceived enemies—serve as mirrors, allowing us to see these hidden parts of ourselves.

  • Self-Righteous Behavior: Engaging in self-righteous behavior is a way to avoid facing our own shadows. By blaming others, we maintain our sense of superiority and avoid the discomfort of self-exploration.
  • Triggers as Teachers: The things that trigger us often point to unresolved issues within ourselves. These triggers are opportunities for growth and self-awareness, revealing aspects of our unconscious that need attention.
  • Relationships as Mirrors: Relationships allow us to see our blind spots. Through interactions with others, we can identify the projections of our unresolved issues and work towards integrating these aspects into our conscious awareness.

Finding Inner Peace

For if we have any desire to truly live in a peaceful society, where we can care for, love, and respect others, we must first find that peace within ourselves. The moment we are triggered, this is all the evidence we need to realize we are not at peace within ourselves. Recognizing and addressing these internal triggers is crucial for personal and societal harmony.

  • Inner Peace and External Harmony: The foundation of a peaceful society is the inner peace of its individuals. By addressing our own unresolved issues and integrating our shadows, we create the conditions for harmonious relationships and communities.
  • Self-Awareness and Responsibility: Achieving inner peace requires ongoing self-awareness and a willingness to take responsibility for our own unconscious projections. This journey of self-discovery and healing is essential for fostering love, care, and respect in our interactions with others.

Root Causes and Childhood Development

Many of these unresolved issues have roots in childhood development. Early experiences shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world, and these beliefs, if left unaddressed, manifest in conflicts later in life.

  • Childhood Roots: Experiences in childhood lay the foundation for our existential fears and insecurities. These early experiences influence how we handle conflicts in adulthood and at the national level.
  • Responsibility and Healing: Taking responsibility for these issues involves deep self-awareness, therapeutic processes, and a commitment to personal and collective healing. By addressing these unconscious shadows, individuals and nations can move towards more harmonious and integrated relationships.

Final Thoughts on the Psychological Roots of Conflict

Understanding the psychological roots of conflict and the role of projection provides profound insights into the nature of human disputes at all levels. From sibling rivalries to international wars, the fundamental issues remain consistent—unresolved unconscious issues projected onto others. True resolution requires taking responsibility for these projections, integrating the shadow, and committing to personal and collective healing.  

Only then can we hope to transform conflicts and move towards a more peaceful and harmonious existence. By consciously exploring our own shadows, defense mechanisms, and fundamental beliefs, we can break the cycle of projection and self-righteous behavior, fostering deeper self-awareness and healthier relationships. Ultimately, achieving inner peace is the key to creating a peaceful society where we can genuinely care for, love, and respect others.

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