You Can’t Keep Your Commitments. Now What?

In the last decade alone, there have been more published books about making and keeping habits than nearly any other self-help genre. From Atomic Habits to Elastic Habits and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in between, the concept of habits has been covered from nearly every angle.

And it’s not hard to see why. Aristotle famously wrote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” But despite mountains of literature on habits, making and keeping them can be very difficult.

Studies show that nearly 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions by February, and according to research, about 45% of our daily behaviors are habitual—which means when our habits don’t align with our energy, environment, or mindset, nearly half of our lives fall out of sync.

No matter how many times you start, give it enough time, and the habit seems to drop off. So often, it’s not because you aren’t committed to the habit, but because something about it feels draining.

Those running shoes seem too far away, eating clean seems just a little too hard, and although you know you should meditate, too often you wake up and the bed seems more comfortable than the meditation seat.

You see, the problem often isn’t the habit but your relationship to it. Let me explain.

Where the Typical Habit-Building Advice Goes Wrong

When you read through many of the books, the advice given usually falls into two camps:

1. Environmental Management
2. Inspiration

Environmental management says the reason you don’t make and keep habits is that your environment is working against you. They argue that the reason the train isn’t moving is because the track isn’t oiled.

They suggest that if you put your running shoes out the night before and make sure your alarm is out of arm’s length when you wake up, then you are 90% of the way to making and keeping habits.

The other ‘train’ of thought is that you need to build enough willpower to create the “muscles” to do hard things.

This approach often uses inspirational stories, like Michael Phelps never skipping a day of swimming for seven years straight or Kobe Bryant, who would show up an hour earlier than his teammates for practice and leave an hour later. This group’s motto is that passion pushes through, no matter what.

To be fair, both of these ideas have merit, but each has its own problems.

Research shows that environmental cues are one of the strongest predictors of habit success, yet without emotional alignment or motivation, most habits still fade within few days.

On the other hand, research on willpower shows it’s a limited psychological resource that can be depleted or strained over time, making sustained goals hard to maintain purely through self-control.

If you focus on the environment, it won’t matter how well-oiled the engine is if it has no fuel. Conversely, if you focus on shoveling as much coal as possible into the engine, eventually the train will burn up (or in your case, you’ll burn out).

The solution often isn’t to focus on one or the other but to align both.

Why Alignment Is the Real Solution to Habit Formation

To illustrate, let’s start with a story.

In the 1960s, a group of American automotive executives went to tour a Japanese car manufacturing plant. As they were being shown the assembly line, they noticed a significant difference in the final step of putting the car doors on.

In the American factories, there were two workers assigned to fitting the car doors. One would place the doors on the hinges, and the other would stand with a rubber mallet to bump the door into place.

But in the Japanese factory, this second job didn’t exist.

The confused American executives asked when they made sure the door fit. The Japanese guide replied, “We make sure it fits when we design it.”

There are a few lessons to extract from this story. The Japanese car factory didn’t try to fix the problem; they aimed at the root by removing the problem altogether. The point is that most habit-forming advice tries to fix the problem by hammering out a solution. But the fact that you need inspiration or environmental ‘hacks’ might be a sign that the habit is poorly designed in the first place.

How to Design Your Habits for Alignment

So, the solution is to use the hammer as little as possible.

There is a principle in Eastern tradition called Wu Wei, which roughly translates to the concept of “effortless action” or “zero force.” The principle states that the less force something takes to work, the more long-lasting it will be.

Here are three principles for applying this philosophy to your habits:

1. Start with Why, but Dig Deeper

The best way to find your “why” is not to search for it but to be still and let it emerge. Habits like meditation and mindfulness are excellent because rather than building something new, your goal is simply to watch something emerge.

2. Make It Part of Your Routine (or Don’t Start New Things)

The best habits don’t feel like habits. The best way to do this is to make the habit you are building so tiny that it doesn’t require effort. Meditating for 20 minutes might be too much to ask, but drinking your morning coffee mindfully might not be much of a stretch.

The beauty of this principle is that habits build on each other. There are many stories of people who started by just putting on their running shoes each morning and, within five years, were running marathons.

3. Focus on Enjoyment, Not Effort

For a habit to stick, it needs to feel more rewarding than draining. Find a version of the activity that fits you. Many people hate running but will happily play sports for hours.

Struggling with sitting meditation?

Try walking or hiking in nature. Again, less effort means it’s more likely to stick.

Real Story of Alignment in Action

Living life as an executive is like walking a tightrope; one misstep and everything appears to wobble. That was exactly the situation with Gladwyn Leeuw, the CEO of E-Squared Investments, who had to overcome it at one of the critical points of his career.

In search of clarity, balance, and growth, he contacted Warren Munitz and Integrative Coaching, and the transformation was significant. Warren’s strategy extends beyond traditional coaching.

By combining business knowledge with emotional intelligence, he provided Gladwyn guidance that covered not only the professional challenges but also his emotional health.

The results were tangible. Gladwyn not only improved his leadership style but also became a CEO, reflecting his professional development and inner alignment. Integrative Coaching not only assisted him in achieving milestones in his career, but it also made him a leader who can lead with authenticity, insight, and purpose.

How Integrative Coaching Helps You Achieve True Alignment

When your habits, goals, and values are aligned, it is easy to be consistent and achieve personal growth. Integrative Coaching helps the clients to establish such alignment by guiding, holding them accountable and providing clarity in the process.

Here’s how:

• Tailored Sessions for Your Unique Needs: Each coaching session is designed to reveal your motivation source, energy patterns and priorities so that all actions you will take do not seem imposed but natural.
• Actionable Strategies That Remove Guesswork: Seasoned coaches will give you clear, practical approaches that will make you realize what really counts, cutting through overwhelm and confusion.
• Alignment of Habits and Purpose: Coaching aligns your actions with your life and career objectives, whether you want to maintain routines, increase productivity, or integrate meaningful habits.
• Measurable Progress and Lasting Transformation: Clients gain steady growth, measurable output, and long-term change that feels effortless over time.
• Comprehensive Support Services: Integrative Coaching has an assortment of programs that can be customized to assist you in achieving alignment, be it at the career level, self-growth, or lifestyle change.

Take the first step today. Book a free clarity call, and Integrative Coaching will help you unlock your full potential and achieve the transformation you deserve.

Designing Habits That Truly Stick

Consistency is not a matter of sheer will; it develops as the habits become congruent with your ideals, energy, and lifestyle. Little, deliberate actions can result in the most significant changes.

Celebrate progress, not perfection, and work towards creating habits that feel natural rather than forced. It is easy to get motivated when your actions are in line with your purpose and preference, and persistence follows naturally.

It is important to remember that long-term change is not about trying harder; it is all about creating habits that work with you and not ones that work against you. Begin today, align your actions with your why, and watch personal growth unfold with ease and confidence.